


Office Tour

by BeezandBitches



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Im just tryna break through some writers block, Post-Armageddon, fictober prompt, ”It’s not always like this”
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-07 16:43:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20820524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeezandBitches/pseuds/BeezandBitches
Summary: The first few souls to reach Heaven after Armageddon weren’t prepared for the chaos upstairs.





	Office Tour

Heaven was run very much like a corporate office. And as such, whenever a new lot of souls entered the pearly white gates they were greeted by Saint Peter and one of the many “Ballerina Angels” as they were affectionately referred too and given a tour of their eternal home, before promptly being given assignments. Heaven wasn’t exactly as cushy as it was made out to be, all except for the ground being very squishy. Much like Hell, you were here to work. And it was expected of you to get it done in a timely, orderly fashion. 

The first few souls to ascend to Heaven after the failed Apocalypse, however, weren’t welcomed by a nameless angel nor Saint Peter, but Archangel Michael himself. All dressed up in ruffles and lace, only concealed by a beige vest that was definitely out of place and more sloppy than he was used to. He stepped out of a ring of holy light in front of the locked gates and looked at the small crowd of souls before him.

“Welcome to Heaven, all of you wonderful blessed souls. I am the Archangel Michael, Prince of the Seraphim and God’s General. Normally, Saint Peter would be here to greet you, but he currently has other matters to attend to.” He forced a smile past his clear exhaustion, trying so hard to seem into it. But it just wasn’t there. “I apologize for your long wait. You see, we’ve been having a few..” He paused, before finding the right words “minor problems, since the failed attempts at Armageddon. Nothing you have to worry about, and all questions about the matter will be answered by Saint Thomas down in the Information Deck.” 

With a flick of his wrist, the pearly gates of Heaven heaved open, a wash of angelic light flooding the small waiting room. There was even an angelic choir that played over a small set of loudspeakers hidden within a fluff of clouds. 

“Please, follow me.”

Heaven was cold, but not in a pleasant way like a crisp autumn day or a nice winter night, it was like stepping into a freezer with a broken temp-gauge. The poor souls were shivering as Michael lead them through a long hallway lined with doors that each individually had loud banging, screaming, and complaining coming from the insides as he tried to explain each of the departments, while papers of all kinds fluttered through the hall, either crumpled or half done. The sight of arguing angels who peppered through the hall, all very stressed and tired, didn’t make it any better. The only reason they stopped was when they caught sight of Michael, freezing in place as if the Archangel could smite them on the spot.

“I apologize for the unseemly behavior. It’s not always like this.” Michael groaned as he shot glares at all the pesky not-working angels. “Armageddon’s left everyone a little tense. But that doesn’t excuse slackers.” His words struck with poison at the statute angels who broke from their frozen state to start collecting the paperwork all about them.

They got to the final door, which was the only one that had no noticeable noise coming from behind it. When Michael opened it, and each soul stepped inside, it turned out this place was where they’d get their eternal assignments.

“This completes our tour.” Michael said. “Now, if you have any questions, find Saint Thomas. And please, for the love of God Almighty, stay calm.” He walked back to the door, opening it one more time. “We will get this all sorted out.. eventually. Be better angels than  _ those _ bad apples we saw. Understood? Wonderful.” And as he stepped out, he closed it with a heavy slam.

The poor souls had only been there one day, and already they felt like they needed a vacation.

**Author's Note:**

> Short and quick and Michael needs a nap. Follow me @BeezandBitches on tumblr, I post stupid good omens stuff


End file.
